Boring details aheadThis page includes parts of the flotsam of my life. Don't blame me, you were warned.
We acquired a primary dog on 29 Aug. 1998 and a backup dog in Sept 1999. I have a page of pictures, not updated often enough.
PersonalFull name: Lynn [Marie] Josephson Alford (varies upon continent)
DOB: 14 Nov. 1960
Citizenship: Dual Australian/US citizen.
The sad truth of the matter is, I've spent long enough in two places to develop a unique accent (if one could patent an accent, I think mine would qualify). Add in that I tend to pick up key phrases in the way that I first heard them. From this you get a nice muddle of generalised accent of Maryland/Florida/North Carolina/North Queensland with likely influences from too much time spent watching British TV (Monty Python anyone?). Other influences include anyone I've spent much time listening to.
All computers are male. You have to boot them just to get them to do anything. When it comes right down to it, you have to boot them to get their attention in the first place.
I trust my computer implicitly. I trust it to crash when least expected or desired. I trust it to periodically leave files in an un-usable state. In fact, I use Macintosh (at work) and a PC (at home) and would say that neither of them can be trusted to work 100% of the time.
- Computers (sad really, I work on them, I play on them, they are a primary connection to the rest of the world for me.)
- Birdwatching (north Queensland is a good place for this)
- Writing (I remembered the short stories, the completed unpublished novel, but I was surprised recently to rediscover that I have 2 uncompleted novels. Computer Science drives such ideas completely out of your head. It will be interesting to read the one I've completely forgotten about...)
- Dark chocolate
- Apple Butter (not available in Australian stores)
- Tim Tams biscuit (US cookie) of the Gods
- Australian Red Wine
- Tim Curry (VTDF) Frequently found playing the villain, in need of some competant henchmen for a change. Should stay away from water.
- Bill Bixby (still missed) As my soul sister says, "He seemed to have such a gentle soul."
- Harrison Ford A brand new Indy shockwave game
Movies/VideosIn no particular order, some of which we own and some of which we don't.
- Jim Henson (Ok, this is a cheat but this includes; The Muppet Movie, Muppet Treasure Island , Labyrinth, The StoryTeller (3 videos), and the original Muppet Show.  Happiness is a large Muppet Treasure Island movie poster.
- BladeRunner (director's cut)
- Star Wars Trilogy
- Fantasia, Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast
TVTwin Peaks, Quantum Leap, Northern Exposure, X-Files, Rumpole of the Bailey, various old British comedies.
- Peter Gabriel
- Recommended titles: Security, So
- Kate Bush
- Recommended titles: Never for Ever, Hounds of Love
- Harry Chapin
- Recommended title: Verities and Balderdash
- Frank Zappa
- Recommended titles: Broadway the Hard Way, Jazz from Hell
- Recommended title: Glory of Gershwin
- The Cruel Sea
- Recommended title: This is not the Way Home Additional comment, the lead singer Tex Perkins VTDF
- Happy Rhodes
- Recommended title: Warpaint
- John Williamson (Australian folk singer/songwriter)
- Chas. Addams
- Edward Gorey (any guesses as to why I like black?)
- Bill Watterson
- Matt Goerning (Life in Hell series)
BooksI'll read *anything* with printed words on it. I tend to read lots of fantasy (signs of never having grown out of fairy tales, I fear), and science fiction. I'll periodically read mysteries, adventure stories, swashbucklers, history, humour. The best reading project of all, I have read the 10 volume set of Sir Richard Burton's translation of the Arabian Nights. Now *that* is an experience.
AuthorsSteve Brust, Emma Bull, Pamela Dean, early Leslie Charteris, Dumas, Sabatini, Dorothy Sayers, P.G.Wodehouse, Tolkien, (many others) We have 6 bookcases downstairs, overflowing with books. We read a lot and keep many, many books.
- Movies that use the title and character names from books but bear no further resemblance to that book. Recently watched example, the 1993 version of the Three Musketeers. It also has one of the worst casting decisions ever made. To me, the casting for the bad guys is much better than for the good ones.
- Music that jolts you out of the movie. The Addams Family movies both end with music that just *completely* pulls me out of the mood.
- Overly loud or melodramatic music. Once again, it can jolt you out of the movie, because the music is too overpowering.
- The length of time it can take for a movie to be released in Australia. For many releases, it is at least one month and frequently up to six months after release in the US before the movie comes to Australia. The primary problem with this is that people from the US usually assume that within 2 months of release, anyone who *really* wanted to see the movie will have done so. More than once, I've hit major spoilers (ends of movies revealed) with no warning when reading articles in a newsgroup. TV drama is six months to a year behind the US, which can also lead to major spoilers in newsgroups.
- Science in movies (lack thereof). I know some about animals and some about computers. From the average amount of accuracy that I've seen in movies about these topics, I'd say that misinformation abounds in movies.
The Information SuperhighwayThis is, of course, a 100% accurate picture. If you can find a superhighway where:
- there are vehicles that range from the basic child's tricycle up to the Concorde.
- lanes go from your basic dirt track (somewhat overgrown) to 8 lanes.
- that has certain parts as deadends, and the natives are known to be hostile.
- locations may appear and disappear with little or no notice.
- lanes may suddenly disappear while you are traveling on them.
- maps more than a day old may be out-of-date.
If you need a Programmer in Black to work for you, first cautiously approach with chocolate. Wait for chocolate to hit bloodstream then you may request some piece of programming to be done. Dark chocolate will have the best effect.
Moments of famePublished review in a book (long since out-of-print). Also acknowledged in a few published papers and at least one book on carbon dioxide research.
I found that I achieved some degree of notoriety in LTUAE a conference area that remembers my presence some 5 years after the fact. Possibly helped by the fact that I was one of the more active players at a time when women rarely appeared on computer networks.
The only Windows game I have written is available ftp and there is a very positive review of it. Interesting to read the review, I have only had feedback from the game once since it was made publicly available. Written as an exercise in how to program Windows 3.1.
I was once involved in writing some pieces of this story published in a number of newsgroups including alt.callahans.
Homepages of people I know or would love to know
- The Bastard Operator from Hell Everyone who uses a computer should read this at least once in their life.
- Friendless Farrell Never take a net.friend as a supervisor.
- DAC No comment on Dac, these are family pages.
- Charlie Stross Denizen of alt.peeves.
- Mark Whybird All around nice guy and member of the drivel list.
- The Modem Junkie Writes a fine column and another member of the drivel list.
- Another Thyme In many ways, a soul sister of mine, and another fine drivel member.
- Linda Fletcher Another soul sister of mine. I know, not a homepage, but I have my reasons for that.
- Christine Zachman Yep, another one. Beware if we ever all got together.
If you have made it to this part of this document and actually read it, I'd like to congratulate you. Even the author hasn't read the entire document since it was a much shorter piece. A rare feat, and one that leaves open the question, couldn't you find something better to do? Perhaps you need to follow this pointless link as well.